Rest and Receive

It has been a week and a day since my surgery, so I thought I would write a blog (sorry it's kind of long) sharing a brief history, as well as what I learned throughout this whole process.

Nearly a year ago Sean and I noticed an odd growth on my ankle, just above my heal, next to my Achilles' tendon. Shortly thereafter I made an appointment with my general care doctor, who thought it looked like a cyst, but decided to refer me to an orthopedic surgeon just to be sure. I made an appointment to get a second opinion with the orthopedic doctor, and he confirmed it was in fact, a cyst. A ganglion cyst to be exact. I had never heard of a ganglion cyst before, but apparently they are fairly common and if you are feeling really brave, you can take care of them by hitting them with a large, heavy book. I was not feeling THAT brave so I went back to the orthopedic doctor, had it aspirated, the cyst returned, and therefore I decided that surgery was the next (and really the only other) option.

When I scheduled my surgery I was told that recovery time would be a week tops, possibly even two weeks, depending on several factors. As a stay at home mom with two children under the age of 3, I knew this would be a difficult and challenging task to undertake. But the cyst was getting bigger, it was attached to my Achilles' tendon, and it was becoming a pain to continue to deal with, so we went ahead with the plan to have surgery. Sean took a couple of days off and my mom came up for a week so that they could help with the daily tasks that I am normally "in charge" of. My orders were to rest, relax, elevate my foot, and do as little as possible...I would come to find out that is MUCH easier said than done.

I am the type of person (and I know many of you can relate) that likes the things in my life to be a specific way, and I like to be the one to make those things happen in that specific way. I have gotten much better over the years, but it is still very much a part of who I am and how I function best. So, letting people take care of me, my house and my children is very difficult. Relinquishing the control to another human being and allowing myself the freedom to rest and not do much of anything is something that is very foreign to me. Needless to say, I had a rough go of it at first. But a few days into it I was reminded that this could be a very special time for the Lord to speak things to my heart and to learn something I would not have the opportunity to learn otherwise. As my dear friend Kate Rhoden encouraged me, I needed to allow myself to rest and receive. Receive from others, and receive from the Lord...and here is what I learned:

-Allowing people to help me blesses them, so I need to graciously back off and let people help when they offer it.

-When I choose to let others help, they will not do it the way I do it, but that is okay. Even though it isn't being the done the way I would do it, the task is still getting accomplished.

-Taking time to rest on a regular basis is vital to my overall well being.

-If my house is not perfectly neat, tidy, clean and organized, it will not spontaneously combust. And neither will I.

-"I am imperfect and vulnerable and sometimes afraid, but that doesn't change the truth that I am also brave and worthy of love and belonging". (Brene' Brown The Gifts of Imperfection)


Fortunately, I still have another week before I go back and get the stitches removed, so there is more resting and receiving in my future. UNfortunately, starting Monday, I will be on my own since my mom has left and Sean goes back to work. It will be a different kind of challenge...trying to rest my foot as much as possible while taking care of the house and kids to the best of my ability. It should be an interesting week. :)