Donating My Hair

For much of my adult life, I have wanted to donate my hair and every time I've tried to grow it out with the intent of donating it, I get frustrated and chop it off. Well, a few years ago I was determined to not let that happen again.
When Sean and I got married I had a short bob that I loved. Shortly after our wedding I decided to start growing it out and was determined that I would not cut it until there was enough to donate.

Flash forward to about a week ago...I was again to the point where I was so frustrated with my hair and wanting to cut it all off. I was having to wear it up in a bun all the time because Inara would pull at it. But even up in a bun she would still pull at the hair at the nape of my neck. It hurt so bad and I was just tired of always having to wear it back and never being able to style it.
I got a hold of my amazing hair stylist, Vanessa, and begged her for help. Thankfully she was able to get me in quickly and after much discussion, I came to a decision.
I had her put my hair in a pony tail and cut the bulk of it off, in order to save it to be donated. Then she transformed my hair into a fun a-line bob, similar to the one I had 4 years ago. I absolutely love it!
Although, I couldn't help fearing that I didn't have enough length to donate to Locks of Love...I knew that I had to have at least 10 inches, and that there could be no bleach/highlights in the hair. Well...I barley had 10 inches and there was still some bleach from highlights I had been growing out. So that same evening I researched a bit online and found an organization that changed all of that for me.
It is a non profit called Children With Hair Loss (CWHL) which makes wigs for children with all different kids of illness (even burn victims) who have suffered hair loss. They only require 8 inches and the hair can be highlighted and/or dyed, just as long as it's in good condition.
I. Was. Ecstatic. My hair would be accepted "as is" by this wonderful organization that makes wigs for KIDS!! It couldn't have gotten any better than that. I am so happy with the results of my cut and even happier that my hair will be blessing the lives of children who need it more than I do!

The Perfect Coat

Today my husband bought me a coat. When he came home from work he said he had a surprise for me (I LOVE surprises) and handed me a brand new, water proof, fleece lined, black (with purple accents and a hood) winter coat. I was so excited.
Seriously.
I had been wanting a new coat for so long and I was thrilled to finally have one that was EXACTLY what I wanted. I put it on right away and was immediately thrilled with how it looked and felt; I didn't want to take it off!
Now, you may be thinking, "A coat? You got that excited over a coat?" Well yes, yes I did. But it wasn't just that I got a new coat, although I do get excited about new things, little or big.
What I got excited over was this: my husband bought me a coat.
He listened to me. He remembered what I said. He thought about me. He payed attention to my needs. He met my needs. He honored my desires. He blessed me.

Sometimes I think how it would be nice if Sean would bring flowers, or chocolates or a card home every once in a while. But you know what? That's not his style. He chooses to do more. He chooses to buy me something that will have importance, meaning, and value to me. I am so thankful for that. I am SO thankful for him.

A Fabulous Fall Weekend

As I was doing the dishes tonight after dinner I was thinking about what a wonderful weekend we had and that I wanted to blog about it. Mostly because I want to remember it. I want to remember the fun, the smiles, the warm sun, the laughter, the love, the sleepless nights, the tears, the spit up...
I want to remember all of it, the good and the bad, because this is my life and I love my life.

For us, the weekend starts on Friday evenings when Sean is off work. This particular Friday we decided to meet for dinner after Sean got off work. Not a huge rarity for us (we eat out about once a week) bust still something fun and special to do, especially for me since it means I don't have to cook and there is no kitchen clean up!

Saturday morning we went to our favorite pumpkin patch to enjoy the crisp fall weather, go on a hay ride, visit the animals, play on tractors, run through the leaves and pick out a perfect pumpkin. Later that day, after Declan had his nap, he and I went on a date to the kids discovery museum, KidTime! We had a blast. It was so special for me to do something one on one with him, out of the house, for the first time since Inara has been born.

Sunday morning we went to church, which was awesome as always, then took Declan to see a fire truck (our church is right across the street from a fire station), went to the Rail Road park to ride on trains, and then carved our pumpkin. We also had a spontaneous family dance party in our living room which was probably one of the sweetest things that has happened...ever.

So, as I was standing in my kitchen, washing dishes, and day dreaming about my wonderful life, I thought, "I have an amazing life. I have an amazing life parter, beautiful, healthy children, opportunity and blessings galore...This is my life. This is MY life"

It is what I always dreamed it would be.

Continuing On

I've been thinking about my blog lately and have been missing the satisfaction I get when I write and publish a post. Ever since Inara has been born, I unfortunately don't have the time I'd like to have to put into blogging on a regular basis. It kinda bums me out, but then I think about what I am focusing on and I know that is more important.
I told Sean the other day that I have come to accept the fact that my life is on hold (to a certain degree) while I have a newborn and a toddler. I must savor this time since I will never get it back.
And I know that the time will come (dare I say too soon?) where I am once again, free to post things as often as my heart desires.

Until then I will be storing up ideas and pictures and adventures to share with the few who read this. Oh, and spending time with my sweet babies.

Lately

I just realized it's been almost two months since I blogged, and that I hadn't blogged much prior to that.  And that I miss blogging. Which made me think "Why haven't I blogged in a while?" Then I immediately thought, "Oh right. I have two children under the age of two." And then I wanted to cry.

Two under two is difficult. It is challenging. It makes you want to pull your hair out. So sometimes you just have to cry, then take a deep breath and keep going.

I often remind myself that this stage of life is not forever. My babies will not be small forever. Someday they will no longer have a constant need for me. One day they will be self sufficient and be able to meet their own needs. Then  that makes me want to cry too.

So many emotions have been filling my heart lately. Mostly joy and happiness. But also frustration. Struggling to feel like a woman, not just a Mama. Finding the balance between chaos and routine. Putting aside things that don't HAVE to get done so that I can spend time holding Inara and coloring with Declan. Telling myself that the dishes that are piling up in the sink and the dust bunnies collecting on the floor can wait, but my children can not.

Mother hood is a difficult and challenging responsibility. It is the toughest job I have ever had, but the most rewarding one as well. I have to daily surrender my wants, needs, and desires in order to provide my children with a life that is happy, healthy, stable, and memorable.

I heard someone say once that parenting is easy, if you don't care how your children turn out.

Well, I do care. So that's what I've been doing lately...caring.

Weeks

I am currently measuring my time in weeks. It's been two weeks since I gave birth to Inara May. Sean went back to work today and I am on my own for a week until my mom arrives to help out for two weeks. I've been thinking back on the week before Inara came and all that took place during that time. The anticipation, emotion, excitement, and intensity of it all. The fact that my mom was visiting for a week and Inara came while she was here. In two more weeks Inara will be a month old and I will wonder where the time went.
This morning I was looking through the pictures that my friend Nina took during my labor and delivery, remembering all the details of the night/morning of Inara's birth and I thought it was appropriate to post some of them with this blog.

The Birth of Inara May

On Thursday, May 2nd I had my 38 week check up with my Midwife. I had been having some pretty strong and fairly consistent contractions since Friday, April 26th, as well as some pinching in my cervical area. She proceeded with the appointment as usual, and when we were finished with all of that, she asked me to tell her about the contractions I had been feeling and how often I was getting them. After I explained everything to her she asked if I wanted her to check my cervix to see how far I was dilated, I was very curious to see if all the action I was getting was doing anything, so I said yes. She estimated that I was probably only going to be 4 or 5 cm and I was thinking that sounded pretty accurate. As I am on the table and she is checking me, she looks at me and the below conversation is what followed:
Midwife: "You are a wild woman aren't you?"
Me: "What does that mean?"
Midwife: "You are at an 8"
Me: "Are you joking?"
Midwife: shakes her head "Let me just check again. Ok, now I'm going to triple check. Yeah, you are an 8".
I was completely shocked and amazed. I looked at Sean and he just looked back and forth between me and my Midwife. Then, we all discussed what my options were, and made a decision based on those.
We decided that we would not go home that night, but Sean would go home to get all our stuff and I would go spend some time walking around to keep the contractions coming. My mom just happend to be in town visiting that week so she, Declan and I went to the mall, and walked around for about an hour. Then we met Sean for dinner, after which my mom took Declan home and Sean and I went to a park for another walk, then back to the Birth Center. Sean's mom came to our house to wach Declan so that my mom could join us at the center and be there for the birth of Baby #2; our dear friend Nina followed shortly after as she would be our doula for the delivery.
Around 10pm things were't slowing down, but they weren't progressing either, so my Midwife came into the room and suggested some options that we could procede with. She left Sean and I to make the ultimate decision, and after MUCH thinking, praying and discussing, we felt that having my Midwife break my water was the best option. So, around 11pm my waters were broken, and after a few minutes I began experiencing very strong, very frequent contractions. After about a half hour, my Midwife came in and said that we should get me in the tub since things were progressing so fast. Then, after about a half hour in the water I felt the urge to push. I started pushing around 12am and 14 minutes later, our baby girl was born!
Unfortunately, she had one of her arms up next to her head, so it made it even more difficult to push her out, and I lost a lot of blood and had to be given an IV of fluids, and be stitched afterwards. But all in all it was an amazing, unforgettable experience that I would not trade for the world!