The Month of April A.K.A The Month of Transition

I don't ordinarily blog about a specific month in the lives of myself, my husband and my children, but April has been quite an interesting and extraordinary month, on top of which, I haven't really blogged about what has been going on in our lives lately....so here it goes (in a nutshell).

The beginning of the month brought on lots of newspaper, boxes, Sharpie pens, and packing tape since I had put myself in charge of finishing up getting the house ready for escrow to close on the 10th.  I also had to pack in order for Declan, Inara and I to head down to CA to stay with my mom and visit family and friends for a week. Sean stayed back and focused on finishing up any last minute packing, so that on the 12th he would be ready to move the majority of our belongings to storage, and then move the rest to his mom's house (where we are staying for about 8 weeks). The day before I was set to head home from CA Sean called to tell me that our dog Elphie broke her leg, so that has been an unexpected hurdle and stressor to have to face amongst everything else going on. And of course there is the adjustment period that has left me emotional and sad, and on the verge of depression if I am being perfectly honest.

But, despite this being a month of transition for us, I am so proud that we continue to express the peace, love, joy, and happiness that is vital to the success and healthiness of my little family. God is, and continues to be, so very good to us. We are thankful to Him and His provision and guidance. And now we just wait because on May 28th escrow will close on the house we have purchased.

Here are some pictures to highlight the fun we have been having lately:

Savoring The Moment

There are several things about my daily routine with my kids that I love. I love seeing their sweet, happy faces in the morning, I love their laughter, I love playing with them, I love teaching them, I love watching them explore and discover the world around them. But there is one thing in particular that I have been loving lately, savoring really, and it's those few groggy moments after they wake up from their naps.

My kids both sleep until about 7/7:15 in the morning, and then they play and "talk" (Declan talks, Inara babbles) to each other in their room for a while after that while I have my quite time and get myself ready for the day. Sean goes in to say goodbye to them before he heads to work (about 7:40am) and then I go in shortly after that to get them up, nursed, diapered, pottied and dressed. All this to say, I don't get to interact with them when they first wake up in the morning. My first interaction with them is quite a while after they have woken up, so, that is why I have come to love the after nap moments.

I usually have to wake them up from their naps (they sleep from about 1:30-3:30) because we don't want them sleeping past 4:00 since that means that they won't want to go to sleep at bedtime. So I go into their room and just watch their beautiful, precious faces in perfect contentment. Then I go and give Declan kisses on his cheeks and nuzzle his soft, warm skin. After that I will go to Inara and gently rub her back or her head and savor the velvety-ness of her hair. I can almost always simply turn off the fan in their room and they will begin to stir and will eventually look at me with sleepy eyes and I just want to eat their rosy cheeks. I then lay my head down next to Declan's, giving his cheeks more kisses and proceed with even more nuzzling; which elicits cuddles and hugs from him, which in turn melts my heart. As he continues to wake up I will go get Inara (who has by now stood up in her crib and is more than likely waving and saying "Hi" to me) and I scoop her into my arms and she lays her head on my shoulder and we cuddle, and I make sure to give her chubby cheeks plenty of kisses as well. And it's wonderful. I love it. It is the moment I am cherishing and savoring now, so that I can remember it in the years to come.

Emotional Roller Coaster

I am certain that every one reading this has experienced a time (or times) in your life where your emotions feel out of control. You feel happy & sad, excited & disappointed, elated & depressed...all at the same time. And all those emotions can change at the drop of a hat, with out any warning. It is all very exhausting. And it is what I have been going through for the last few weeks.

As most of you know, we sold our house at the end of February, and we sold it for twice as much as we bought it for two years ago (super exciting) but that means that we have to pack up and leave all the memories that we made here behind (super sad).

We have been looking at houses almost every weekend for the month of March (super exciting) and have even put offers on a couple places (even more exciting) but none of the offers have been accepted, and then one was accepted but then rejected the next day (super disappointing).

When I am in a really good place I start to think about the possible blessings God has in store for us as we take this journey and it makes me feel elated. Then the next moment I can start focusing on how stressful it's been to pack some of our house for storage and some for my mother-in-laws (where we will live until we find another house) and how we don't have any guarantee on when we will find another house, and I start to feel depressed.

And to top it all off, our Pastors at church (Ryan and Garris) have been teaching on the goodness of God for the past several weeks and I am just struggling big time with that. I know God is good, but do I truly KNOW and BELIEVE and TRUST that He is good? As these messages are being given I am just in tears because I am simultaneously facing some circumstances that would say "God isn't good. If He were good, you would have _________ (fill in the blank)". So I have been challenged to look at the difficulties surrounding me and proclaim that God is in fact good, even if it doesn't FEEL that way. And I will continue to ride this emotional roller coaster with Him by my side and looking to Him for guidance and direction, comfort and strength, peace and understanding.